Aaaand we're off...

Week 1 went pretty good. Weigh in last night showed a LOSS of 2 1/2 pounds. So, yeah, I'm pleased. I had a good week of tracking and being more aware of portion sizes. Now I just need to keep my mindset positive...I've gotta cheer myself on each step of the way...I've gotta learn to count on myself to get the job done...I've gotta rely on me...I've gotta learn to be proud of myself...I've gotta believe in me...I've gotta pat myself on the back for each little accomplishment...I've gotta depend on me.

All Aboard!

First of all:  T G I F  (I don't know about you, but I thought it'd never get here! *ha*) It been one of "those" weeks for some reason...nothing I can put my finger on exactly, just one of "those" weeks.

I am madly perusing the web (okay, mainly Pinterest....sigh) for recipes. I love looking for recipes to get ideas, but I tend to just tweak old ones. Then I get stuck in a food rut. So, I'm trying to broaden my horizons a little bit, trying new things, etc. I mean, I did go out and buy a butternut squash after all...now just gotta make myself fix it somehow :)

For some reason I'm really in to searching for dessert options right now. I have quite a few go-to dinner recipes, but my sweet tooth needs to be attended to so that I don't secretly go out and purchase a king-sized candy bar, madly devouring it in the seclusion of my car plotting how to hide the wrapper. Wonder if they have ever considered making those edible, too?

I digress...

I've done very well sticking to plan so far. Yes, I realize it's only been a couple of days. But dagnabit I'm determined to do my best.

Saw this today and thought how fitting it is for me at this point in time.

My next step is to set up mini goals...and mini rewards. :)

Changing Trains

Pityville:  population 1 0

Somewhere along this long journey I changed trains and ended up in Pityville. Well, I'm back to say that I took that hard proverbial first step off the platform and have boarded the train back to ME!

I beat myself up for way too long and wallowed in my own bitterness/disappointment. I hate feeling sorry for myself. I hate feeling guilty and second guessing all the time. Yet, it's so easy to do. I have a hard time fighting for myself and for what I want. I have a hard time believing in myself. I have a hard time believing that I deserve good/better things.

While in Pityville I allowed myself to fall into what is easy and familiar. And not in a good way.

But no more! (Note:  not to say there won't be bad, sad, disappointing, whiny days...I'm sure there will be. However, I do not want to seek the weird comfort of them. I'm sure that doesn't make sense to you, but I have allowed guilt and unbelief rule me for many, many painful years.) I need a cheerleader. (A shout-out to Beth Ayers for volunteering for this position.)

So I took the step last night of going back to Weight Watchers. Stepping back on that scale was scary & difficult, yet I did it with determination & confidence. And I was so thankful for an "old" friend (the cheerleader mentioned above) who was there and informed me that I was the reason/inspiration for her sticking with program. (She said she'd watched me drop the pounds and it gave her the confidence to do it, too.) Well, Beth, I appreciate you being in MY corner now, cheering me on...no matter how slow, victory is going to be mine!

I have a way to go to even get back to where I left off, but at least I'm not where I first began. I will accept each little step along the way, but no looking back. Even if I stumble or take a step backward, I want to be determined to continue forward in my journey. I do not want to look so far ahead that I lose sight of each little step before me. Mini-goals are my focus. I do not want to let any stumbles or setbacks to rule my life. I want to be determined each step of the way.