DAY 26

BOOO!!!! I'm sick :( The creepy-crud has attacked and set up residency. My head has been pounding for about 24 hours, I feel like someone has whacked me with a baseball bat right across my back/between my shoulder blades, and my upper chest is wheezing and rattling. No fever, though. (at least not yet)

DAY 25 - Weigh In Day

*insert heavy sigh*

Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. I only lost 1/2 pound this week. I know, I know! At least it was a loss, right? And I am proud of that...I was just expecting more. I'd been keeping close tabs on everything -- even though I wasn't "good" this weekend. (I still stayed within my allotted points.) And even though that not-good day was just one day and I've been behaving, religiously tracking, etc.

So, here -- grab a hat-n-horn and join my pity party. Okay, that's over now. Time to move on.

SO...I've got a busy week ahead of me to get the last 1 1/2 pounds gone by next Wednesday's weigh in. (My original goal was to meet my 10% goal on or before February 1.) Time to turn up the heat and, in Larry the Cable Guy's twangy voice, "get 'er done!"

Thanks for all your support! It means oodles and oodles to me. Love ya'll. (no twangy voice...okay, maybe a little)

DAY 24

It's been another great day of tracking and staying focused. I'm so glad I had all the stuff the other night to make a small pot of the WW Veggie Soup! (Good stuff, Maynard.) No idea what to make for dinner tonight, but I may just have to have soup and let the others fend for themselves. I'm super-dee-duper anxious about tomorrow night's weigh in. Will I meet my 10% goal? If not, how disappointed will I really feel? If I do, then I'm sure you'll probably be able to hear me shout...literally! And I'm already thinking about the next goal; but I won't reveal that just yet. I don't want to jeopardize any of this lovely mojo :) Plus, I'm all about taking BABY STEPS, right? And remembering this little saying that I found the other day helps to keep me focused on the goal of "sure & steady wins the race":

Hopefully tomorrow night when I report back to you it will be full of joyfulness :)

DAY 23

Today has been my "get back into the swing of things" day...and so far so good. Again, meal planning, trying new low fat recipes (tweaking "old favorites" even), and tracking has been key to my success thus far. However, I have a rather strict couple of days ahead of me -- all because 1) I didn't totally behave this weekend, and 2) I am determined to hit my 10% goal this week. I'm too close...and if not this week, then next. After all, my original goal was to hit that milestone or or before February 1. Either way, this week or next, I will have hit that goal...and I'm okay with that. :)

DAY 22

It sure has been a very busy, whirlwind weekend! And not the best of eating situations, but I used my weekly WW points for that. (I knew ahead of time that it would be difficult to stay on plan.) Today I've been busy preparing for the week. I AM DETERMINED TO MEET MY GOAL ON WEDNESDAY! :) Made a pot of WW Zero-Point Veggie Soup, Parmesan & Prosciutto breakfast muffins (WW recipe - 2 pts each), Chicken Roll-Ups (for tonight's dinner, just need to reheat), and now a batch of WW Chocolate Chip Meringue cookies. Whew! I'm tired now. Looking forward to a great week!

DAY 19

Things continue to go well. I have persevered. Of this, I am proud :) Even if I fall outta the boat tomorrow, at least I know that I can overcome and view these as just a bump in the road. (Hence, the beginning of turning "I think I can" into "I KNOW I CAN").

I just enjoyed a fabulous lunch, too! If you've never tried any of the yummy selections in your grocers freezer, I highly recommend Lean Cuisine's Bacon Chicken Flatbread sandwich. It's big (could easily be cut in half), but it's designed for a single meal...and very filling! I love it because I love sandwiches, so it's kinda of a healthy option of a yummy comfort food. (The whole thing is 9 WW+ points.) Served along with a yummy slightly green banana...a huge hit in my food book :)

I'm excited about the possibility of hitting my 10% goal next week. And believe you me, I am going to do it! I may even be doing a silly dance. (Of course it'll be silly -- I have no rhythm!)

DAY 18 - Weigh In

TWO. POINT. SIX.

Let the whoopin' -n- hollerin' commence!!!

Next week, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I will reach my 10% goal :)

DAY 18

Yes, I realize that I've missed a few days writing on here. But never fear - I am still sticking to my resolve. I am in the midst of heavy burdens, angst, stress, insecurity, doubt, etc. Every venomous dart the Devil can hurl my direction has been spot on. Ever have times such as this where you could easily just sit down with a gallon-size bucket of Cheetos and a vat of brownies and eat your troubles away? But at the same time, the thought of food is repulsive and you can literally taste bile in the back of your throat? That's the kind of week it's been for me. Thankfully, in a weird sort of way, I am the latter of those two scenarios. So I do expect a weight loss tonight at WW. I will post more tonight after our meeting. And please, please, please keep me in your prayers...God knows our trials, concerns, and needs.

DAY 15

It's been another great day of tracking and cooking and relaxing. It feels good to be back on track. Preparation and planning is of utmost importance.

I am really looking forward to a day off work tomorrow. I plan to do some more cooking for the week, plan lunches for the rest of the week, etc. Wednesday will be weigh-in day again, so I'm hoping for another loss (even if not as significant as the last couple of weeks.) Then we're planning to go out of town for the weekend to go visit Isaac at college.

Have a great night, ya'll :) Itty bitty wobbly baby steps.

DAY 14

I'm back up, somewhat dusted off, and just taking itty bitty steps today. I acknowledge what went wrong, but not dwelling on it. I spent the day planning meals for the next couple of weeks and shopping for those items. I was even hungry for cookies, so I found a couple of good ones on WW to try -- turned out pretty good, too! I look forward to a good night's rest and another great day tomorrow.

DAY 13

The Curse of Friday the 13th

Yep, I fell prey to this yuckiness. The horrid beast of my fear of being home alone (aka: no accountability) has reared its ugliness. No, I didn't go on a total all out glutton binge (at least not like I've been known to do before), but it was enough. I feel horrible - not just mentally, but physically ill.

BUT THE PITY PARTY IS OVER! NO MORE!!!

I will not let this happen any more tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. I cannot allow that little voice of doubt to creep back in and destroy all I've done so far. I am worth it. I can do this. I have worked too hard at these baby steps that I cannot then take giant leaps backward. I have had such great support and encouragement that I cannot let each of you down. I have to believe in me -- even in times such as this.

My mind is made up. I'm not waiting until morning to "get back on track"...it starts RIGHT NOW. (But first I think I'll go see there is a Tums or Maalox tablet in the medicine cabinet.)

So here's to getting back up, dusting myself off, and taking more of those wobbly baby steps.

DAY 12

Today I've felt all off balance. I think it has to do with the phone ringing at 5:30 am saying that school was cancelled, turning off the alarm, then waking up to the sound of a text message at 7:00 am from a co-worker asking what time we had to be at work. (Offices open at 8:00, but last year our policy was that if school was cancelled due to bad weather we would open two hours late.) It was nice to be able to take my time getting ready, cook breakfast, etc. but it just seemed to have messed with my mind a little bit...know what I mean?

But actually it was very nice in that I had a nice protein breakfast (omelet) a little later than usual, followed by a yummy lunch (leftover veggie spaghetti & salad) a little later than usual, and then dinner (left over shepherd's casserole), filled in with lots of yummy clementines. I love, love, love those little orange pieces of juicy sweet heaven!!!

I stayed well within my daily points allowance, and had enough to enjoy some light popcorn. (I'm usually not a huge fan of light popcorn, but Aldi's Fit & Fresh Light Microwave Popcorn is very good!) So good that I actually felt like I was cheating. (ha)

So I finish out today feeling once again very satisfied and happy with myself. My goals for tomorrow will include:
1) continue tracking
2) continue with positive motivations
3) believe in myself
4) make shopping list (got some new low fat recipes I'm looking forward to making this weekend and stick in the freezer)
5) get lots of rest & relaxation this weekend

Baby steps, positive baby steps :)

DAY 11 - Weigh In Day

YES!!!!!

Another great week and the hard work has paid off. Guess who is down another 3.4 pounds? THREE. POINT. FOUR. POUNDS! I'm sooooo close to my 10% goal, which I plan to hit on (or before) February 1. Tonight also was significant in that this is my 16th week of Weight Watchers. (Granted, not all of those 16 weeks have I been faithful to the program.) I was awarded the clapping hands pin. Those clapping hands signify so much to me -- not just for the time spent with WW, but in my new-found confidence and determination.

Today was another great day of tracking. And now I'm ready for a good night's rest. I do have to make a game plan for this coming weekend. Weekends are always kinda hard, but I made it last weekend and I'm determined to do it again. However, this weekend everyone will be gone. As much as I look forward to the time alone, I also am a little bit afraid of it too. So I need to make a plan -- maybe some spa time, cleaning, etc. Suggestions? Just something to help keep me from the temptation of snacking, etc.

TOMORROW'S GOALS:
1) continue faithfully tracking
2) plan meals & shop accordingly
3) plan things to stay busy this weekend

These baby steps are paying off and I see the progress -- almost feels like a big giant leap :)

DAY 10

Today was interesting. For whatever reason, I was just slightly irritated most of the day. I think it's because I'm not getting enough sleep or something. But I did my best to stay positive anyway. AND...I've been able to keep on track. Although this afternoon when I was so sleepy and just wanted to munch (and I didn't want fruit or veggies), I chose two Weight Watchers snacks:  Ranch Multigrain crackers and a Peanut Butter & Chocolate minibar. Both were delicious and met that crunch & saltiness as well as the sweetness I was craving.

My main goal tonight is to just get to bed earlier than I have been, and then turn the lights off earlier than usual. Right now, though, I'm watching "The Biggest Loser" for the first time in quite awhile. I remember watching this a couple of years ago while sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream or popcorn. Kinda makes me smile. I just enjoyed a wonderful healthy plan (only 7 WW points per serving -- Garden Spaghetti Bake is what I'm calling it) and have no desire for anything more, even though I do still have 9 daily points left.

That's where I sometimes find I'm lacking -- at the end of the day I still have that many points left. I need to stay closer to my daily points to help my body burn the fat. It is odd to me how you have to have "more food" in order to burn the fat. (I totally get the concept, but the whole eat-to-lose idea is mind boggling to me.)

I am very much looking forward to tomorrow night WW weigh-in! I'm so excited to see what another week of hard work & perseverance will show. So be looking for tomorrow night's post!!! I promise results. I'm soooo close to my 10% goal -- I hope to reach it on or before February 1. That's the plan :)

So I bid you all a good night.

DAY 9

First of all, I want to thank you for reading this. Your support (and comments) mean a lot to me. A lot. So thank you for taking the time to read about my journey and for reminding me that I can do this.

This has been an extremely busy day! I'm so ready for a good night's rest...no more of this can't go to sleep but have to get up early stuff.

I have behaved quite well today, too. Too busy to be hungry or have the munchies really, but made good food choices throughout the day. (Although the Cream of Broccoli soup that Chloe brought home from the restaurant she works at was more than likely NOT low-fat, it was still within my daily points limit. I only had a small amount and it was delicious!)

TOMORROW'S GOALS:
1) continue this tracking trend
2) continue making wise choices (asking myself, "is this [food] worth it?")
3) continue with the positive outlook -- only I can make the changes necessary
4) and I'm doing my best to stay OFF the scales until my official weigh in at WW on Wednesday night -- I want to be pleasantly surprised

So I close out today feeling satisfied. Satisfied with progress. Satisfied with choices. Satisfied with myself. Satisfied with life.

Before I sign off for the night, I want to share with you a few lines from my devotion today. Talk about perfect timing!!!

"...You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don't be discouraged - never give up! ...Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand-in-hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent. ...Instead of dashing head-long toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence."

Such a gentle reminder for me to take baby steps :)

DAY 8

Other than been tired from staying up too late (just couldn't sleep) and getting up early (singing at church), I feel great! A nap is definitely on today's agenda!!!

I guess I have to admit that this whole tracking - writing down everything, better planning, etc. - is really where it's at. I'm sure there will be some of those not-so-good days, too, but I hope to keep on keepin' on through those times as well. That's my overall goal. Mainly because not have I seen that it works, but I know that even if it's a not-so-good day I can look back and stay on track.

I had a moment of weakness last night. I knew where those sinfully delicious Lindt White Chocolate Truffles are hidden and I wanted one really, really bad. I had quite a few points left for the day, so I climbed up on the chair and dug one out of the top of the cabinet. BUT...I did check the points before popping it in my mouth. I was mortified to see that just one (yes, ONE) has 7 points!!!! I about fainted. That's almost a whole meals worth of points! So there went my left over daily points. And I admit that it was so yummy, but at the same time it sort of lost its sinfully deliciousness. Know what I mean? If I ever want another one of those I will definitely have to plan ahead and ask myself "Is it worth it?"

TODAY'S GOALS:
1) track, track, track
2) nap, nap, nap
3) blog, blog, blog
4) plan week's meals

DAY 7

I can report that I am pleasantly surprised by how last night went. (You may remember that I was a bit apprehensive about the weekend and how I tend to throw any semblance of controlled eating out the window.) I made a light dinner (chicken & black bean tostadas) and when the sweet tooth set in about 8:00 pm, I actually was craving a Lindor White Chocolate Truffle (which I have "hidden" in the cabinet). However, I was too afraid of checking the WW points for what even one would be, so I grabbed a clementine instead. GOOD CHOICE, CINDY! :) Besides, I just love those silly little things, and this one was just a wee bit tart too - making it even more delicious.

I am in the process of making plans for today. It will include: some light grocery shopping, trying a few more new recipes (and portioning them out for the week ahead), and maybe even sneak in a nap somewhere along the line. Although that's usually just wishful thinking. I'm never really sleepy when I want to be. I'm also hoping to possibly take advantage of this non-January-like weather by taking a walk today -- but that's only if my back will behave. It's not hurting as bad as it was earlier this week, but this morning it's more like a nagging toothache type of pain - not horrible, but not great either.

TODAY'S GOALS:
1) continue tracking everything
2) trying new recipes & preparing for the week ahead
3) keep my mind off food (and the clock)
4) use positive reinforcements (quotes, sayings, etc.)

Baby steps in the right direction! Love & peace, y'all :)

DAY 6

Well, here it is almost a whole week of good behavior. (I know, I can't believe it either! *ha*) I'm feeling very good about this, and I plan to do my best to persevere past the "honeymoon" phase.

However, I admit that I'm a wee bit apprehensive about the upcoming weekend. Can I stay on track and not succumb to the whole "I'm home! Shouldn't I be eating?" mentality? I'm going to do my best to stay busy and not be a clock-watcher.

I've been trying a few new WW and/or lowfat recipes...so far, so good! Especially love the Egg Nests recipe. (I don't know if that's what they're actually called or not, but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.) Very simple, easy to reheat (or freeze for later), a great on-the-go breakfast food...and only 5 WW points!

GOALS:
1) continue tracking faithfully
2) stay busy this weekend
3) continue writing this blog daily (it's quite therapeutic)
4) try more recipes (so as to stay out of a food rut or get bored with the same things)
5) STAY POSITIVE!!!

DAY 5

HOWDY DOODIE! AND A WHOOP -n- HOLLER!

Last night was my official WW weigh in. Guess who lost 2 1/2 pounds this week? Yep, it was me! And I totally credit it to being vigilant about tracking. I'm so close to my 10% goal now that I can just about taste it. I really, really, really needed that boost. I'm confident that today I can continue this journey...one foot in front of the other, right?

Today's goal:
1) continue tracking faithfully
2) focus on that 10% goal
3) continue reminding myself with positive reinforcements

Here's to a stress-free day!!!

DAY 4

*insert heavy sigh*

What a day! (And not necessarily in a good way.) No, I take that back -- I'm actually quite thankful for my many, many blessings; however, this has shaped up to be quite a stressful day. And being a connoisseur of emotional eating, there's not much I wouldn't do right this exact moment for a big ol' bag of Doritos! (or Cheetos...or anything that didn't move to quick.)

Maybe I'll elaborate more about all the stress later. And maybe I won't. Time shall tell. Not that it really matters anyway, but this may need to become my avenue for venting every once in awhile.

*another heavy sigh*

But on a brighter, happier note...

Yesterday's tracking went good. I only went over my daily allotted WW points by one (but I'd not used any of my weekly points yet), so I'd say that was a success. :)  I'm doing good so far today keeping track -- although I've already used almost 1/2 my points on breakfast and lunch -- BUT I SHALL DO THIS!!! "I think I can...I know I can!"

Wednesday evening is my usual official weigh in day with Weight Watchers, so I'll update more after tonight's meeting.

Today's goals:
1) continue tracking
2) drink more water
3) take time to breathe (and de-stress)
4) GO to my WW meeting -- and be satisfied (no matter what the scale shows)

More to come...

DAY 3

Well, there has been a wrench thrown into my exercise plan. My lower back has been bothering me off and on, but today I woke up and could barely get out of bed. Literally had to roll out...then try to stand...then try to take a few steps. OWIE, OWIE, OWIE!!! The most frustrating part is that I have no idea how it happened or what I did to cause this.

Yesterday was another great day of tracking. I tried a great (and easy) recipe for Pepperoni Pizza Rolls -- and two of them equals only 7 WW points! Paired with a lettuce salad and fat free dressing, I was thrilled to still enjoy some "pizza". I found the recipe on Pinterest.com. If you've not checked out that site, I suggest you do -- there's some great stuff/ideas on there.

I must confess that I am an emotional eater. Articles I've read and doctors I've talked to have all advised to keep an emotional journal along with a food journal and determine triggers from that. Well, to be quite honest, for me it doesn't matter what emotion -- I just like food! I can eat when I'm sad, mad, happy, blue, excited, bored, tired, wired...you get the idea. I also happen to realize that although I primarily cook good-for-you foods, my biggest problem is portion control. So, last night I actually had my daughter climb up on the kitchen cabinets and pull down my vintage-looking food scale. (Another one of those things I just had to have, bought a cute one to match my decor, but never used so it ended up on top of my cabinets with all the other vintage kitchen items.) I was hungry for cheese & crackers, so I saw that I could have 1 oz. for 3 WW points -- yeah, like I know what 1 oz. is! But now I do :) and I'm quite pleased to say that it was more than I thought...so I enjoyed 2 oz. of extra sharp cheddar cheese and five whole wheat crackers. (I didn't get a chance to eat dinner and didn't want anything heavy just before bedtime.) And for good measure, I even threw in a apple to get in my fruit (and fiber).

I think there's something about that whole WEIGH YOUR FOOD idea! And I think I'll do it again!

So with my back out of order, my goals for today are:
1) another good day of tracking
2) maybe try some stretching exercises (have to see how my back is feeling later today)

Onward! with more "baby steps"...literally.

DAY 2

Yesterday went surprisingly well. I kept track of everything -- thank you WW mobile app. I'm even trying to plan out a weekly menu (lunch and dinner ideas). I am finding a lot of easy, different options on various web sites and/or blogs from other WW followers. (Thank you, Pinterest.com)

And although I didn't get in the planned exercise, I did get in some walking when I went shopping with Isaac.

Goals for today:
1) another full day of tracking
2) be mindful of what I put in my mouth (ask myself if it's worth the points/calories)
3) planned exercise

Here's to more of those "baby steps" :)

DAY 1

Starting Weight  =226.0
Pant Size = 20 / Top Size = 2X / Bra Size = 40DD (always had big boobs, even when I was young & skinny *sigh*)

My goal for this year is to be a healthier, happier version of myself. As much as I miss the "old days" of truly being skinny, I have no desire to be that thin again. (Plus, I was much, much younger then.) No, I need to keep things in perspective and set mini goals.

My goals for today are:
1) track all foods in food diary
2) do some form of exercise (either a walk or yoga/pilates video)

I am someone who can laugh at myself like no other, but inside I'm always beating myself up...never good enough. I am very hard on myself and feel very unworthy most of the time. BUT...it's time for me to change that. And I realize I'm the only one who can do that. I must stay positive. I must.

It's time for ME. I am capable of doing this and I cannot rely on others to do it for me. Although a little help, kind words, encouragement, confidence boosters, etc. are welcome! I just can't rely on those things from others all the time - I must create them.

So here goes "Baby Step #1" to a healthier, happier me :)