I'm sure this will not shock many of you, but I am a worrier. I worry about everything, even though I try not to. I even create scenarios in my brain and worry about those...how stupid crazy is that!? I am also a firm believer in communication, yet there are times when I tend to be the world's worst. How do I effectively convey my thoughts, feelings, concerns without the other person thinking I'm "blowing things out of proportion" or being defensive? (Here comes that worry thing again, right?)
Last night I was very introspective, quiet. It came across as being upset or angry. Even though I kept saying that nothing was wrong, I just couldn't bring myself to express why I was feeling the way I was. I just wasn't ready to express my worries and concerns. I just needed to hold them close to my heart. Protect them. And all I needed was a hug - an "I'm here for you"...and I'm sure I could have gotten that had I simply not worried about communicating that need.
Vicious cycle.
Yet this morning, in my devotion, I was reminded to not worry. To take all things to Him who loves and cares for me. To Him who holds my right hand. To Him who knows my every desire, worry, joy, fear, etc. "For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'" (Isaiah 41:13) How awesome that reminder is to me today! I still have those worries & fears, but I must be reminded that my wonderful Savior is here to help me with those today and tomorrow. I have to trust that He works all things for good, to His glory...and with that I must be satisfied.
He has blessed me with a wonderful husband. Not a perfect one, but a wonderful one. Someone He chose just for me. I need to learn to communicate better, allow him to share my concerns. And I need to remember that my thoughts, feelings, concerns, worries, etc. are real - and I shouldn't be afraid to voice them out of fear of how the other person will respond. I cannot control their response.
And speaking of control... Yeah, that's a whole other story :)
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