FUNK

FUNK [fuhngk] noun -- a dejected mood

Yep, that pretty much sums it up. And the worst part? I don't have a clue why, but I've felt it coming on all week. I hate it when that happens. Ever just want to lock yourself in a windowless room and cry for no particular reason? I think maybe this funk is a side effect of built up stress and emotions. Maybe?

I hate most that I allowed it to rear its ugly head last night and push me down. I'm stronger than that! Long story short:  after much "debate" about where to have dinner last night we ended up at Applebee's. Now, I know they advertise approved Weight Watchers menu items, but for those of you who don't know these menu items consist of three options. One is 8 Points, one is 11 and one is 12. I've had the 8 point option before and it was okay - not my favorite, but okay. Last night I was not in the mood for any of these three options. So what did I do? Caved. Big time. Sure there are other healthier options than what I ended up getting (and eating the whole blessed thing!), but my mindset/focus was already gutter deep. What did I have, you ask? The Pick-Three Combo -- boneless wings, cheeseburger sliders, and spinach-artichoke dip w/chips. Yep, sin on a platter. And I at the whole thing. No carry-out box for me. And let me tell you, after the last bite I was so miserable. (I'm sure I was before the last bite, but I just ignored it and kept on chewing.) That miserableness was not just physical, it was emotional too. The physical misery lasted all through the night -- I didn't sleep well, my stomach churned, etc. In fact, even this morning I wished I had the courage to make myself throw up...that's how much my stomach hurt. The emotional misery has brought on the feeling of funk, and not in a good way. (Obviously.)

I've gotta get out of this mood and get my head screwed on straight again so I can conquer this mindset. I have to stay focused and determined.

P.S. Thanks for listening to me whine.